36 Comments
User's avatar
Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

😭 ❤️

Francine Benites's avatar

As a first-time mom waiting for my baby boy in september, I’m feeling excited, a little anxious, and already knowing I’ll miss being pregnant. The phrase I’ve been hearing the most is: “Enjoy it. Time goes by so fast.”

I’ve been reading all your essays on motherhood over the past few years, and right now they’re hitting me hard 😂

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Oh my goodness!! When in September?! I was born in September and it's the best time of year for a birthday. I am so so happy for you, Francine. You are in such a delicious phase of life. HUGE congratulations! A lot of my best baby stuff is behind the paywall, so if there's something you'd like to read, LMK I will make sure to get it to you!

Francine Benites's avatar

He’s due on September 11th! I love September—it’s almost spring here!! When’s your birthday?

But I have a feeling he’ll come earlier… I don’t know 😂

Thank you so much for your kind words!! I have to admit, this season has truly been a love affair.

You’re so kind. Thank you so much 💖

Noha Beshir's avatar

For reasons I've disclosed to you privately, the kids haven't been to camp this summer, but they did end up away at grandma and grandpa's for a week in early July and I missed them SO much my heart ached, once the absolute luxury of watching whatever I wanted on the living room tv wore off lol.

I do think you're right about how to trick time. I also think the camp Max goes to sounds like excellent preparation for survival skills required during the eventual (imminent?) climate collapse, not only all the roughing it and going without electricity aspects of things, but also the kindness and attention and humility and lack of addiction to stupid screens. Well done well done.

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

We need to catch up again! It does feel like Max is getting prepared for a certain future, though I think if more people had the ethos this camp espouses, we wouldn't be in this kind of pickle. It's definitely heart-wrenching to realize how big a space is left behind when they're gone. It really amps the gratitude around having a few more years. Max will be 13 in December. I can't believe it.

appleton king's avatar

heres a little treat that gives me hope and joy each day and relates to the idea of your boys "fledging" soon and after such tender and focused attention by their parents and such a reminder that love flows inuch the same way regardless of species: google the live eagle cam at the Vermont VINS website. What a gorgeous view of a river below and he is about to fly for the first time any day now!!! xo

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Oh my gosh we love that cam! We've watched it (or a similar version) for other flights in the past. I'm bummed I'm just checking this comment now, hopefully there's still something to see! A great tip, Ap!! How goes the lake?

appleton king's avatar

3 days ago at breakfast in real time i saw him fly for first time!!! He was shrugging huge wings and looked irritable and then i just knew

he would soar.t Thought of your boys. Right now he has been flying to different perch and they have a close up angle!

Valerie Monroe's avatar

So beautiful, beautiful Isabel. x

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

We are overdue for a visit! Grateful for your readership every single time.

Valerie Monroe's avatar

Sentiment is entirely mutual! x

David Roberts's avatar

Visiting day was so tough for me. I remember tears (mine).

Katie Sise's avatar

Your nostalgic friend over here loved the way you could put it all into words so beautifully

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

You are doing summer camp right.

Sarah Kovatch's avatar

Great reflection of the complicated layers in a mother’s heart. I wonder if your experience of nostalgia is even more intense because you are containing so many developmental stages at once from babyhood to adolescence. I have to say, sleepaway camps and grandparent weeks saved my sanity in the summers when my kids were younger. Theirs sounds truly special!

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

You are so right! I have one foot in so many places, it's enriching and also sometimes a little confusing!! I can trick myself into thinking they're much younger than they are with the toddler tether. Sometimes the adolescent aspect creeps up on me. I have been thinking about you and your writing. How goes the effort?

Alissa Greene `'s avatar

Oh my goodness YES! My daughter only does 4 weeks so we don’t get a visiting day and we get her back a little sooner but my goodness it’s such a wonderful moment to get a little perspective, feel the longing and the wonder and get a moment to really marvel at it all.

I was thinking to myself that the sheer THRILL of hugging her again was quite incomparable. Getting to see all the ways she’s grown, all the ways she’s been challenged, and then to get her to bring her back to the nest. It’s such a little gift.

I’m a Brit and we don’t really do sleepaway camp, so this whole world was completely alien to me and it took a lot of lobbying from my daughter for me to agree to it. But my goodness it’s pretty wonderful. A month deep in nature, at a place where kindness and respect and adventure and community and responsibility are held so highly. And the relationships she builds with the older girls!

Her counselor - who sang them traditional Irish songs and told them Irish folk tales every night - was in tears saying goodbye to them. It’s so special. I’m entirely converted!

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Alissa, I am SO GRATEFUL for this comment. Is this your daughter's first year away? Camp gives me such a sense of peace because I know for at least that chunk of time our boys will have no screens, no stress, no rushing and I feel so grateful they get to sink into what childhood really should be. It also feels like a small, but important rite of passage. I think it's so good for kids to grow emotionally with grown ups who aren't their parents.

Hilary Fair's avatar

My love language is a kerosene lamp after dark(!) and I feel a nostalgia for this kind of summer, even with only having had glimmers of them. "It could’ve been 1964 on the cabin deck overlooking the cleared view of the lake. It could’ve been 1921, 1906 or two decades before that." *swoon*

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

My father used to have a kerosene lamp and light it in the summer... the smell is SO evocative for me and so this is a particular weak spot!!

Mary B's avatar

The photo of those beautiful faces, smiling in their way, made my heart melt just a bit. Loved this post, Isabel.

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Mary, I love to have you here!! Means the world to me!

Mary B's avatar

I love to be here, Isabel. Means the world to me, too. ❤️

Katie Shutzer Brennan's avatar

Love this! Is there a girls camp too?

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

I think there might be, although I pay very little attention to girls' camps ;) hehe

Theodore Bouloukos's avatar

I have so many fond memories of a sleepaway camp founded in the earliest years of the last century, but made defunct in its last, 1977, when I was 15. Merging with our sister camp of equal vintage was a mistake on all (water)fronts, especially when they began construction on our site before the deal was official. But how I cherish the traditions of those halcyon summers, where we dressed for dinner in our hunter-green camp uniforms (we wore the white T-shirt with the camp monogram by day) and sang songs that generations before us sang. Our cabins were graffitied with names and summer years long passed. Gosh, I get misty just thinking about it. A fabulous fleet of sailboats on a quiet Adirondack lake. Water skiing too with a Cypress Gardens champ who wore his Gucci belt at dinner; those interlocking Gs still had cachet back when so few knew how to recognize them. Lots of tennis, of course, and horse riding. And all those friends for life. Still.

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

This is iconic!! It makes me appreciate your sensibility even more! I'm now picturing your apartment, loaded with antique books and gallery walls, some with waterskiiers doing flips and tricks ;)

Theodore Bouloukos's avatar

Thank you, Isabel! I'm merely an amalgam of so many wonderful experiences, I suppose, like everyone else, having long ago embraced the eccentricities along the way, too, as my kooky apartment would attest. I appreciate your warm assessment. Living life richly requires only an open mind and heart, and the ability to stay curious. That's always worked for me. I do miss water skiing, however. 😂

Christie Manning's avatar

I love your reflections and I concur with all the advice you have been given over the years and your thoughts on summer camp. As you know, we have four kids as well and it’s the hugest gift I could imagine.

Being a survivor has helped me hone my CARPE DIEM mindset, but I think being in the Peace Corps helped as well. Staying in the moment and knowing it will pass before you know it is the best awareness you can have. Really nothing matters more than the love you are creating in your home and with all the memories…trips, traditions, funny small

Moments, you name it….one of the the best parts, that is more wondrous than you can imagine, is when they become young adults and you get to watch who they have become and switch gears to being their consultant and a loving, awestruck observer ☀️☀️☀️

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Oh gosh this comment makes me so happy. Thank you for sharing what got you to a place of true reverence for the present--it's easy to think we have forever, especially because parenting days sometimes feel 100 years long. We got a letter about Max from his counselor yesterday, and it foreshadowed his young adulthood. I loved reading about how he's received in the world and how he relates to other people. It's so good to have parents a few years ahead who can tell me about all the wonderful, upcoming iterations. Thank you. xx

Elena Ferrucci's avatar

I love your pictures of your beautiful boys ! You are such a great mom ! Enjoy them now because time flies . Do u remember when your mom played a camp counselor in Addams Family Values? Soo funny ! She is such a super grandma! 💕💕💕

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Oh my gosh, Elena. I forgot about that!! I should have them watch, they'll love it. Thank you for reminding me!

Elena Ferrucci's avatar

Your welcome !!!!