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Valerie Monroe's avatar

I'm going to read this shimmering prose again and again and again. Because, though I've read a LOT about babies and mothers and the baby/mother relationship, I have never read anything that captures it with such thorough magnificence. Thank you, Isabel. You're an inspiration. xo

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

WOW. Val. Wow.

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Helene Van Manen's avatar

I agree. I"ll be returning to read this again and again. And in my work as a Birth Activist and Educator, I will read this to mothers to be so hopefully they can get what the real mothering experience is.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Thank you, Helene ❤️

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Jenovia 🕸️'s avatar

Isabel, this was incredible!!!!! It’s my favorite piece yet. Joe and I are on the way back home from a day spent in the city, and I just read your piece out loud in the car so that we both could experience your mammoth talent as the perfect ending to a beautiful Sunday. We both agree that you are pure magic with the pen. No one writes about parenthood the way you do. I’m stunned every single time. The infinite! Little toads! Resting Buddha! The baby punches in the face! 😭😂 I had to pause many times because I was belly-roll laughing. I’ll be sending this to all my mama friends. What a gift you are.

Also, toddlers are terrorists!!! The demands! The meltdowns! Ah!

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

To have you guys absorb this together... just, the highest compliment and honor. I wish I'd had time to record the audio, but unfortunately I was recovering from a bleeding cornea after I put the vacuum back in the closet.

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Joe Not Joey's avatar

Absolutely monumentally moving Isabel. The way you paint it all with such poetic justice is really beautiful. It was such a treat to have Jenovia read this to me while I was at the wheel driving home. Thanks for writing this. I don’t think I’ve ever heard or seen someone sum this all up so beautifully. The way you described certain parts of the journey really brought me back to when Hugo was a lil toad. It truly brought me joy. It make me miss it and have much more appreciation for all of the ups and downs. I can approach my position as a father with more gratitude thanks to this piece. Even when my experience with Hugo is sucking.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Joe, I've been wanting to write you for such a long time... on this comment and the last one you left me. Your generosity stops me in my tracks. I can't tell you how thankful I am for your attention & support. It means everything to be witnessed by readers I admire. You and Jenovia do more than you know to keep me going.

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Joe Not Joey's avatar

Wow I appreciate that so much. I didn’t realize you felt that way about us. I’m happy to say the feeling is mutual and we both are beside ourselves when reading your words. You’re truly so poetic and always offer such an honest and vulnerable perspective on things. Its really refreshing and inspiring. This piece really carved out the space for me to reflect on so many beautiful things I might not be looking closely enough at or appreciating deeply enough while experiencing them. You’re one of my favorite writers to read on here so thank you right back ! 🫂🙌🏽

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Jenovia 🕸️'s avatar

😭😂

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

My fave as well. There is certain lightness in this one ❤️

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

I appreciate you so, Paolo. In all the ways!

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Lily Yee's avatar

Your writing paints such wondrous images...toads, resting Buddha, palms to the sky. Glorious, Isabel. ❤️✨

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

It's an easy topic to mine, I'm just glad my audience has the patience... it can be a fine line talking endlessly about your kids :)

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Helene Van Manen's avatar

Keep talking.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

can't stop won't stop!

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Rona Maynard's avatar

I was a mother at 22, unprepared and unsupported. I couldn’t wait for my baby to talk and go to school. Although I’d never heard of postpartum depression, it was gnawing at my soul. Through your luminous writing, I experience what new motherhood can be. You write with generosity, allowing me to read without envy.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Humbled and grateful to receive this and your note. Thank you, Rona.

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

Have you ever been struck dumb by the sacredness of another person? How? When!

When I gleaned into my partners eyes, 2nd time we met, thought I was just wooing her turns out I'm being sucked into my destiny.

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Helene Van Manen's avatar

"sucked into my destiny"

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

amazing, right??

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

sucked into your destiny 🤯

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LRB's avatar

My daughter is almost 6 months and my son, the sometimes benevolent tyrant, is almost two and a half. This piece is soooooo accurate.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

You are living that high/low life :)

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Teresa Scott's avatar

I've read a lot of mystics and your ability to express the ineffable is right up there with the greatest! Can't wait to see what you have to say about grandchildren!! :)

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

I can't wait to have 'em! I'm going to be a mischievous, benevolent baba yaga--kinda scary, kind of exciting. A wiry enchantress! Thank you so much for being with me here!!

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Stephanie Sweeney's avatar

Woweee. Loved this.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

You are so appreciated, Stephanie. Thank you!

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Lily Kast's avatar

THIS!!!! Isabel!! Yes!! Feel seen to my core as I desperately try to soak up every last drop of these angelic days with my 8 month old; I will be reading this piece again and again. So very grateful to have your beautiful, poignant writing in my inbox tonight, and always! Xx

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Oh! This comment makes my heart sing. Also: despair not! They do get sweet again (as you know!)

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Alissa Greene `'s avatar

I was so struck by the topsy-turvy of the postpartum insanity the first time around, I don’t think I was able to be fully in the newborn period. Which was actually fine because my first was a dream toddler. She was all sweetness and love and snuggles, very little hair pulling or pegging it into the road or hitting me in the face with Lego. I had my second seven years after my first and this time I was in absolute awe at the newborn phase. On my knees at the sight of her. I didn’t wish a single second of it away and couldn’t believe there had ever been a time when those days seemed long. She’s now 18 months old and I’m black and blue from the toddler-inflicted injuries. Her face still takes my breath away but I also hide in the toilet from her a lot.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

haha! Hiding in the bathroom--YES. I was able to appreciate this newborn phase because Bruce is so much younger than his older brothers, so I had the perspective and maturity to sink into his babyhood more than I could before. A big gap is a wonderful POV expander. You relish the sweetness when you know how fast it goes. And also, mercifully, these raging toddlers do get sweet again, though never silent.

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Marc Typo's avatar

It feels like just yesterday I used to rock my son to sleep. It used to take almost an hour, but I loved every minute of it. And now, even though he’s just a little older, I can’t wait to drop him in his bed and shut the door to have the last couple of hours of the day to myself.

Reading this made me reflect not only on how fast time has moved, but on how easily I’ve shifted from being so gracious to “damn, just go to sleep already.” And honestly, it makes me feel a little bad. Just me? Ok.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Not too long until you find yourself screaming DAMN JUST GO TO SLEEP ALREADY very much out loud, not in your own head. (Said as the mom of a 11, 9 and 6 year old, too.)

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Jasmine Moon's avatar

Thank you for this magnificent piece of writing

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Jasmine, I am beyond grateful you are here.

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Madeleine's avatar

Man, everyone else in the comments said they were belly laughing at this… am I the only one who bawled through the whole thing? Is it just the pregnancy hormones??

Regardless, I agree… this is one of the best pieces on the real experience of motherhood I’ve ever read. I’m growing #4 and have a 5,3, and 1 year old so I guess I definitely fell prey to “starting over as soon as they say no”.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

I am so humbled by this comment. The whole experience of motherhood is both absurd and gutting--has me laughing and weeping hysterically all in the same day, sometimes in the same hour, maybe even in the same set of tears.

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Anton's avatar

This is one of those essays you finish slower than you started. Because every line is a reckoning. Sacred hilarity. Existential tenderness. And that line—‘even the villains started as mystics, shaped like toads’—undid me. Thank you for bottling that quiet knowing most of us carry but rarely say out loud.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Oh, Anton. This comment has my heart exploding. Thank you.

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Kiya Taylor's avatar

Absolute perfection. Every word. Babies are the true gurus we seek, honestly.

And as I hit 18 months your description of the relief of the nostalgia and the humanness hit me like a tonne of bricks. So, so true. Thank you!

Ps on the poo thing, man once you lock eyes and they see you I find I have to keep starring because if I look away she breaks her concentration!

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

Haha I wonder if that's what the poop-stare is! A silent plea--help! This thing is coming, I need support! Not unlike me in labor, maybe :) Also: I really do feel like it's important we comfort mothers who are (understandably) scared of moving on from these sacred phases. They're all sacred. Just with different flavors. And we each hold every single one, all the time. So grateful you're here.

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Charlotte Stephens's avatar

What a beautiful, beautiful post. Simply perfect.

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

I am so grateful for you!

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Charlotte Stephens's avatar

And I for you!

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