You give me hope! I can stop making things harder for myself. I can find peace in scary places/times. I can flow with the waves in spite of myself. That the ocean, life, is turbulent, wild, dizzying, and enlivening all at once 🤍
Your Barbados lines reminded me of the fears I had when I was quite young — that the vastness and unknownness of the world would suck up and dispose of the people I loved. The old lady in me has squashed those fears more or less.
Oh I used to feel EXACTLY what you describe when looking at the night sky. The vastness and unknownness was so profound to me, it hit like a gaping, nauseating hole in my middle. That we are all so small felt truly terrifying. I think I've looked for grounding and stability so much in adulthood so that I can start creeping back out into the void. Surfing was a little test, for sure.
"For a person who frequently frets that ‘big breaks’ have passed me by, it was a life-giving relief to look out to that flat horizon and think—ANYTHING could be coming" — thank you! ❤️
so much rawness (the brine and sand etc.) and goodness in this (you in aquamarine splashing water going all Isabel Button (tee-hee)
i may have misread levitate for meditate in opener but nevertheless i avoided the undertow of going back to former piece and getting distracted but kept on riding this wave.....glad i did
I WAS LEVITATING on those waves. Truly! I couldn't believe the way the water just swelled glassy underneath the point of the board and I was hovering over it, suspended. Probably the only levitating I'll ever do, so thanks for helping me appreciate that part of the experience :)
love! there is something to be said about not having to make everything so hard, some things are gonna be more difficult than others, but there is no need to put extra pressure on myself to make it the best! beautiful as always Isabel!🩵
Yes! What I realized out there was that sometimes the things that are hard for me are difficult simply because I'm not timing them correctly. In another season, perhaps they would clear up and feel easier. Swells and breaks...
On a physical only level, I could NEVER!!! On the emotional level hard relate to so much of this- and you did the 3 and 87 simultaneously thing!!! Yes yes yes…
Isabel, what a wonderful job you did here at capturing the essence of what it means to be a surfer and navigating the shore break both mentally and physically. As well as how it all translates to life beyond the shorey. I’ve often avoided talking about my experiences in the water because most times you hear it from someone new to surfing, swept away with by the act and powerful demand of presence the ocean/surf commands. Most take an overly romanticized angle that in short time feels like you’re being waterboarded with romantic maple syrup, when in truth they’ve missed the mark. Ive seldomly seen someone deliver the right portions of romance and metaphor on how waiting for set waves mimic past present and future opportunities in life but you do it so well! A thought I’ve often had but never vocalized.
Your mom sounds rad. My friend Kelia surfed a ton when she was pregnant and it might be the last thing you’d want a pregnant woman doing but somehow it’s beautiful and seemingly the exact thing you should be doing while brewing bones and life. I could’ve never done the act and sport such justice when it comes to words in my 25+ years of surfing and making boards. I humbly tip my hat.
This summer has been very quiet wave wise but I’m confident September and the early fall will deliver some hurricanes and decent swell. The water will remain warm for a while too so no need for stinky wetsuits. If you feel like tapping in again, on this side of the pond, you’re more than welcome to bring the family. I can take the kids out and keep an eye on them. I have enough boards for everyone and Jenovia and I would love to host.
I am so grateful for your generous reply, because, well... this whole thing was for you! You were top of mind while I wrote it. And you're totally right about how to describe something so life-altering. It's a little like when people want to tell you their dreams or their amazing acid trips. Like, right I get it the house was a house, but not really a house and the plants were all alive and talking. Anyway, sometimes the most profound experiences are the hardest to describe!! You might be seeing me sooner than you realize... xx
Don’t tempt us with a good time! Not sure if you’re being serious about having me in your thoughts while writing this but I’m honored if you are. This was truly a beautiful piece and like I said, having such a particular palette for surf content I can honestly say you did it a real justice. Weird question but have you read “Barbarian Days” by William Finnegan ? There’s an essence of how you both talk about the ocean that I find similar, unique and very refreshing. It’s as if you both can reintroduce someone to the experience who’s very familiar, refocusing the scope on things. Either way bravo and maybe see you guys soon ✌🏼
Thank you, Mary!!! All I have to do is think about bobbing on that big board and my face starts aching from the grin. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful memory in my back pocket :)
I've had that 5 second bliss, you really feel the power of the ocean push you, its invigorating. The water is an amazing teacher. Paddling, waiting, for a moment so short and fleeting. Such is the nature of everything. Thanks for taking us along 🫶
I read this on Sunday and I have been thinking of the "inner identities" ever since and especially this line: "I’ve always felt the presence of some wiser version of myself, watching and rooting for me, smiling with wonder as I bumble in her direction." I just love it. She's right there, all the while. I feel it too.
You give me hope! I can stop making things harder for myself. I can find peace in scary places/times. I can flow with the waves in spite of myself. That the ocean, life, is turbulent, wild, dizzying, and enlivening all at once 🤍
Your Barbados lines reminded me of the fears I had when I was quite young — that the vastness and unknownness of the world would suck up and dispose of the people I loved. The old lady in me has squashed those fears more or less.
Oh I used to feel EXACTLY what you describe when looking at the night sky. The vastness and unknownness was so profound to me, it hit like a gaping, nauseating hole in my middle. That we are all so small felt truly terrifying. I think I've looked for grounding and stability so much in adulthood so that I can start creeping back out into the void. Surfing was a little test, for sure.
Can't control the waves, we can only ride them ❤️
"For a person who frequently frets that ‘big breaks’ have passed me by, it was a life-giving relief to look out to that flat horizon and think—ANYTHING could be coming" — thank you! ❤️
Oooh your presence here delights me!! So glad you got something from my toddler/ crone.
Thank you, Isabel. Loved the writing here, the wisdom, the girls and grandmothers hand in hand. Wave after wave, it gives me patience with myself.
Yes, we are bookended by wisdom--and returning to innocence!
so much rawness (the brine and sand etc.) and goodness in this (you in aquamarine splashing water going all Isabel Button (tee-hee)
i may have misread levitate for meditate in opener but nevertheless i avoided the undertow of going back to former piece and getting distracted but kept on riding this wave.....glad i did
do
😉🤣
I WAS LEVITATING on those waves. Truly! I couldn't believe the way the water just swelled glassy underneath the point of the board and I was hovering over it, suspended. Probably the only levitating I'll ever do, so thanks for helping me appreciate that part of the experience :)
the one time i ever feared for life in water was being caught between swells in Barbados body surfing at 11 (my age not the time of night 😉)
am aware of a huge wave they have in Portugal and try to catch the Olympic surfing in Tahiti as swells are compelling
love! there is something to be said about not having to make everything so hard, some things are gonna be more difficult than others, but there is no need to put extra pressure on myself to make it the best! beautiful as always Isabel!🩵
Yes! What I realized out there was that sometimes the things that are hard for me are difficult simply because I'm not timing them correctly. In another season, perhaps they would clear up and feel easier. Swells and breaks...
Timing 🙏
On a physical only level, I could NEVER!!! On the emotional level hard relate to so much of this- and you did the 3 and 87 simultaneously thing!!! Yes yes yes…
Isabel, what a wonderful job you did here at capturing the essence of what it means to be a surfer and navigating the shore break both mentally and physically. As well as how it all translates to life beyond the shorey. I’ve often avoided talking about my experiences in the water because most times you hear it from someone new to surfing, swept away with by the act and powerful demand of presence the ocean/surf commands. Most take an overly romanticized angle that in short time feels like you’re being waterboarded with romantic maple syrup, when in truth they’ve missed the mark. Ive seldomly seen someone deliver the right portions of romance and metaphor on how waiting for set waves mimic past present and future opportunities in life but you do it so well! A thought I’ve often had but never vocalized.
Your mom sounds rad. My friend Kelia surfed a ton when she was pregnant and it might be the last thing you’d want a pregnant woman doing but somehow it’s beautiful and seemingly the exact thing you should be doing while brewing bones and life. I could’ve never done the act and sport such justice when it comes to words in my 25+ years of surfing and making boards. I humbly tip my hat.
This summer has been very quiet wave wise but I’m confident September and the early fall will deliver some hurricanes and decent swell. The water will remain warm for a while too so no need for stinky wetsuits. If you feel like tapping in again, on this side of the pond, you’re more than welcome to bring the family. I can take the kids out and keep an eye on them. I have enough boards for everyone and Jenovia and I would love to host.
I am so grateful for your generous reply, because, well... this whole thing was for you! You were top of mind while I wrote it. And you're totally right about how to describe something so life-altering. It's a little like when people want to tell you their dreams or their amazing acid trips. Like, right I get it the house was a house, but not really a house and the plants were all alive and talking. Anyway, sometimes the most profound experiences are the hardest to describe!! You might be seeing me sooner than you realize... xx
Don’t tempt us with a good time! Not sure if you’re being serious about having me in your thoughts while writing this but I’m honored if you are. This was truly a beautiful piece and like I said, having such a particular palette for surf content I can honestly say you did it a real justice. Weird question but have you read “Barbarian Days” by William Finnegan ? There’s an essence of how you both talk about the ocean that I find similar, unique and very refreshing. It’s as if you both can reintroduce someone to the experience who’s very familiar, refocusing the scope on things. Either way bravo and maybe see you guys soon ✌🏼
Gorgeous, always gorgeous, and true. xo
I am grateful for you, always.
Staying the course comes in all shapes and sizes and unexpectedly, too. Keep smiling!!!
Thank you, Mary!!! All I have to do is think about bobbing on that big board and my face starts aching from the grin. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful memory in my back pocket :)
I am so grateful to have you here!!
Absolutely love this—just found your writing—want more ☺️
I've had that 5 second bliss, you really feel the power of the ocean push you, its invigorating. The water is an amazing teacher. Paddling, waiting, for a moment so short and fleeting. Such is the nature of everything. Thanks for taking us along 🫶
This is so beautiful thank you 🌊🩵
Freedom is letting goodness ( & darkness) wash over you- moment by moment. Thank you again for sharing these moments.
Joy radiates from your offering. Thank you for bringing a smile to my face.
I read this on Sunday and I have been thinking of the "inner identities" ever since and especially this line: "I’ve always felt the presence of some wiser version of myself, watching and rooting for me, smiling with wonder as I bumble in her direction." I just love it. She's right there, all the while. I feel it too.