I'm so grateful that this makes sense!! Always the fear of becoming a yammering mommy blogger and yet... this is the most miraculous and painful and extraordinary experience of a lifetime, so sorry...gotta write about it.
I can't wait to listen to this, thank you so much for sending!! I am feeling this whole new life emerging and its sort of marvelous. I'd love to find myself reading pieces that reframe getting older as a beautiful experience instead of one filled with dread and apprehension. Obviously all of those feelings arise (and I have a long way to go--if I'm lucky) but the whole topic feels ripe for a re-think.
So lovely. I had my daughter at 40, she's going to be 26 soon, and I connected with everything you wrote. There's a wisdom in mothering and I love that you're embracing it. Go you! Being aware of all the changes physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and gathering them into that cup, makes a beautiful cup, wrinkles, sags, expanded heart, and all.
Mary, I love to hear this. I had my first son at 29 and although I LOVED becoming a mother I was beset by so much doubting and 'good-girl' conditioning. Having a baby after emerging (somewhat) from those traps has been a thrilling experience. I am with him in this whole new way. 100% there with him and 100% there for myself, all at once. Remarkable. I'm so glad you're here.
So key, "100% there with him and 100% there for myself". It's possible, and wonderful, too. I'm glad I'm here, too. I'm glad you're writing here on Substack U(niversity). (I call it Substack U because I'm learning SO much.)
Isabel…this one resonates so deeply. I love all of the complexity, the intensity and excitement of moving through something so big. I feel so grateful to read your beautiful brave reflections as I move through these times with you 💛
-- I’m late to comment on this one, but it’s because I had busy days with my mom coming back home, and I wanted to calmly re-read it before leaving my thoughts. I think this is one of my favorite pieces of yours, Isabel. And that’s a tough choice to make. You truly bewitch me — the way you weave depth with lightness, doubts with hope. This piece evokes all the emotions of motherhood, a title I always associate with you. I shared it with my colleague, who is three months pregnant and needed some peaceful clarity. Your words here are a bundle of exquisite, ethereal, and honest reflections. Thank you. ❤️🔥
Oh, thank you for sharing!! I am honored. And I know what you mean about needing to sit down at the right time for a piece. The one downside I find with Substack is that everything is flattened into my phone screen--some, like yours, seem to deserve paper pages and a quiet corner. xx
This went straight to my heart, all the descriptions of the complexity of motherhood, so tender and true. Also loved the perspective of mothering from a different life stage. Yes, you've mothered other babies, but not from this more experienced stage of life, which is so unique. I love how you described it as "not naive." I'm finding myself fascinated & obsessed with women that are 10-15 years older than me (ordinary women, famous women, any older-than-me women).The line at the end made my heart leap. Beginnings and endings, oh Life. ---PS. I LOL'd b/c my son went through a phase at age 11 in which he shouted "69!" every chance he got. He only knew it was provocative and it cracked him up. Still so naive... but almost not... Precarious territory for us all.
So true! Those women, just a touch ahead, are the greatest gift of all. I find it so exciting to cultivate friendships with women of different generations--and I'm honestly excited that Bruce has pulled me into the younger set, too. I may be optimistic, but I feel like every generation is parenting with deeper thoughtfulness and its heartening to see. I have big hopes for how our kids raise their children. And yeah... Max with that dazzling, intoxicating number, which he doesn't understand and I daren't explain.
I do, too! What's with this whole cultural dupe that we're supposed to value girlhood forever? Now if we could just get Taylor Swift to embrace crone-hood the world would really shift.
I bet she will in time. I really don't listen to Taylor Swift, because I am soo old. But I have a sense she has her feet on the ground in some way. Maybe she will lead the generations behind her into embracing coandom as she ages.
Your essay inspired many thoughts in me and I could write a long essay in response here but alas I will say ... that I hope your beautiful story helps to demystify the word Crone and give women readers a love for it's rich meaning. As you re-define what being an intentional mother means, may women realize that it is an honor to identify as a Crone. Croning is about accessing and applying one's Inner Knower to all the choices in all the stages of our lives. We don't have to wait to be a Crone. Instead, may we allow our Inner Knowers to guide the way we mother our children, ourselves and each other. Thank you Isabel for being out front for women on the path of learning.
I remember our first date, Mimi’s coffee when we “poured” it all out about motherhood. Or maybe I poured it out-ha! Anyway, I’m ahead of you but also clinging to my last one, while the oldest is being accepted to college-what?!? How are we that old?! The gears of parenthood, high, low, neutral, they can be felt, like manual, or they are just on automatic in my experience. Either way it’s a bumpy beautiful ride!!
I feel grateful for all my friends with kids a few years ahead because I'm like, wait... these people are now young adults. It gives me such an appreciation for treating kids with dignity and deep interest when they're young because in about 2 minutes that grown-up authority collapses and we're all equals, bumbling through the Stinger.
heres the 'contradiction" for me Isabel when you write like this you require/cause my own little grinch heart to elongate, expand a minor irritation even as the words are soothing and fall into descending pools like a fountain in a summer garden
this : "Since Bruce was born every moment has felt like a fresh ending." bittersweet apprehending
is proof enough you will certainly be the good witch the good crone and the lip balm? hmmmm
Cirque de Soleil may soon be calling or a future calling? heeeheee
ohhh curious about Max, does he turn it down or up to 69, and if down is he like environmentally motivated OR is he just having a hoot with the number "69" the little devil
Apple, I think you're right. It's the acknowledgment of beauty, knowing that it passes, that makes these times so sweet. I feel lucky to have this community to hold these reflections for me--an added dimension of meaning-making. And yeah, there's just a constant referencing to this new number in our house, always, everywhere: "Mom, what's 74 -5?" "What's 23 x 3?" He doesn't know what it means yet, only that it's loaded and his friends laugh. Probably he'll learn by the time school's out today.
funny because i had a mini split thrown in here anticipating renting the place come May and the digitized thermo- reading in red on it wouldnt go away even as i fooled withe remote: 69
least of concerns as i suspect huron got clipped outside this AM by a vehicle and he s hobbled
I feel happiness everytime you write about your kids and about be a mom. I’ve been reading more about motherhood these days… maybe it will be me soon… I see babies and I just melt. Anyway, thanks for your wisdom words ❤️
This was delightful and empowering, and I loved learning that I am apparently on the shared ledge of the age of the mother (though not one to a child) and the age of the seeker. I am looking forward with a lusty anticipation to crone, which I feel a little part of me has always been.
Its miraculous and beautiful how you and a little baby that I've never met can make my heart fill so full!!
You've described the emotional duality of your position so exquisitely and I am in awe! Keep smearing that lipgloss.
I'm so grateful that this makes sense!! Always the fear of becoming a yammering mommy blogger and yet... this is the most miraculous and painful and extraordinary experience of a lifetime, so sorry...gotta write about it.
Well this sounds right, just right, all of it. Signed, 73-year-old crone. xo
And such gorgeous writing, too.
Val you make me so happy. Thank you.
What do they say about parenting—“The days are long, the years are short”?
I loved this interview with Gloria Steinem where she talks about how liberating it is to get older.
https://www.npr.org/2020/09/25/916910998/feminist-activist-gloria-steinem
I can't wait to listen to this, thank you so much for sending!! I am feeling this whole new life emerging and its sort of marvelous. I'd love to find myself reading pieces that reframe getting older as a beautiful experience instead of one filled with dread and apprehension. Obviously all of those feelings arise (and I have a long way to go--if I'm lucky) but the whole topic feels ripe for a re-think.
So lovely. I had my daughter at 40, she's going to be 26 soon, and I connected with everything you wrote. There's a wisdom in mothering and I love that you're embracing it. Go you! Being aware of all the changes physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and gathering them into that cup, makes a beautiful cup, wrinkles, sags, expanded heart, and all.
Mary, I love to hear this. I had my first son at 29 and although I LOVED becoming a mother I was beset by so much doubting and 'good-girl' conditioning. Having a baby after emerging (somewhat) from those traps has been a thrilling experience. I am with him in this whole new way. 100% there with him and 100% there for myself, all at once. Remarkable. I'm so glad you're here.
So key, "100% there with him and 100% there for myself". It's possible, and wonderful, too. I'm glad I'm here, too. I'm glad you're writing here on Substack U(niversity). (I call it Substack U because I'm learning SO much.)
“But the crone laughs.” Loved that. Let’s all shift into our croneness.
I've got to say, I think I was born a crone and I'm finally feeling soft enough to fully be one in the world. It feels soooo good.
Isabel…this one resonates so deeply. I love all of the complexity, the intensity and excitement of moving through something so big. I feel so grateful to read your beautiful brave reflections as I move through these times with you 💛
lightning bolts in our hands
-- I’m late to comment on this one, but it’s because I had busy days with my mom coming back home, and I wanted to calmly re-read it before leaving my thoughts. I think this is one of my favorite pieces of yours, Isabel. And that’s a tough choice to make. You truly bewitch me — the way you weave depth with lightness, doubts with hope. This piece evokes all the emotions of motherhood, a title I always associate with you. I shared it with my colleague, who is three months pregnant and needed some peaceful clarity. Your words here are a bundle of exquisite, ethereal, and honest reflections. Thank you. ❤️🔥
Oh, thank you for sharing!! I am honored. And I know what you mean about needing to sit down at the right time for a piece. The one downside I find with Substack is that everything is flattened into my phone screen--some, like yours, seem to deserve paper pages and a quiet corner. xx
This went straight to my heart, all the descriptions of the complexity of motherhood, so tender and true. Also loved the perspective of mothering from a different life stage. Yes, you've mothered other babies, but not from this more experienced stage of life, which is so unique. I love how you described it as "not naive." I'm finding myself fascinated & obsessed with women that are 10-15 years older than me (ordinary women, famous women, any older-than-me women).The line at the end made my heart leap. Beginnings and endings, oh Life. ---PS. I LOL'd b/c my son went through a phase at age 11 in which he shouted "69!" every chance he got. He only knew it was provocative and it cracked him up. Still so naive... but almost not... Precarious territory for us all.
So true! Those women, just a touch ahead, are the greatest gift of all. I find it so exciting to cultivate friendships with women of different generations--and I'm honestly excited that Bruce has pulled me into the younger set, too. I may be optimistic, but I feel like every generation is parenting with deeper thoughtfulness and its heartening to see. I have big hopes for how our kids raise their children. And yeah... Max with that dazzling, intoxicating number, which he doesn't understand and I daren't explain.
Fantastic Belle! What a poetic piece. Here's to croning! Myself I like everything: life, myself, others better and better the older I get.
I do, too! What's with this whole cultural dupe that we're supposed to value girlhood forever? Now if we could just get Taylor Swift to embrace crone-hood the world would really shift.
I bet she will in time. I really don't listen to Taylor Swift, because I am soo old. But I have a sense she has her feet on the ground in some way. Maybe she will lead the generations behind her into embracing coandom as she ages.
Your essay inspired many thoughts in me and I could write a long essay in response here but alas I will say ... that I hope your beautiful story helps to demystify the word Crone and give women readers a love for it's rich meaning. As you re-define what being an intentional mother means, may women realize that it is an honor to identify as a Crone. Croning is about accessing and applying one's Inner Knower to all the choices in all the stages of our lives. We don't have to wait to be a Crone. Instead, may we allow our Inner Knowers to guide the way we mother our children, ourselves and each other. Thank you Isabel for being out front for women on the path of learning.
I often joke that I was born 82 years old :)
I remember our first date, Mimi’s coffee when we “poured” it all out about motherhood. Or maybe I poured it out-ha! Anyway, I’m ahead of you but also clinging to my last one, while the oldest is being accepted to college-what?!? How are we that old?! The gears of parenthood, high, low, neutral, they can be felt, like manual, or they are just on automatic in my experience. Either way it’s a bumpy beautiful ride!!
I feel grateful for all my friends with kids a few years ahead because I'm like, wait... these people are now young adults. It gives me such an appreciation for treating kids with dignity and deep interest when they're young because in about 2 minutes that grown-up authority collapses and we're all equals, bumbling through the Stinger.
heres the 'contradiction" for me Isabel when you write like this you require/cause my own little grinch heart to elongate, expand a minor irritation even as the words are soothing and fall into descending pools like a fountain in a summer garden
this : "Since Bruce was born every moment has felt like a fresh ending." bittersweet apprehending
is proof enough you will certainly be the good witch the good crone and the lip balm? hmmmm
Cirque de Soleil may soon be calling or a future calling? heeeheee
ohhh curious about Max, does he turn it down or up to 69, and if down is he like environmentally motivated OR is he just having a hoot with the number "69" the little devil
Apple, I think you're right. It's the acknowledgment of beauty, knowing that it passes, that makes these times so sweet. I feel lucky to have this community to hold these reflections for me--an added dimension of meaning-making. And yeah, there's just a constant referencing to this new number in our house, always, everywhere: "Mom, what's 74 -5?" "What's 23 x 3?" He doesn't know what it means yet, only that it's loaded and his friends laugh. Probably he'll learn by the time school's out today.
funny because i had a mini split thrown in here anticipating renting the place come May and the digitized thermo- reading in red on it wouldnt go away even as i fooled withe remote: 69
least of concerns as i suspect huron got clipped outside this AM by a vehicle and he s hobbled
OH NO!!! Keep the fans posted. I'm worried.
he wont put any weight on it so ill see how my the trammodol my buddy had given me when his dog ran away works before going for xrays tomorrow
I feel happiness everytime you write about your kids and about be a mom. I’ve been reading more about motherhood these days… maybe it will be me soon… I see babies and I just melt. Anyway, thanks for your wisdom words ❤️
Absolutely the greatest gift of my lifetime are these little people. Especially when I can zip away for an hour and write about them ;)
I am not sophisticated enough to know why, but your writing just sends me into a spin in the most wonderful way. It's just perfect.
Natasha, thank you!!! I am so glad to have you here! I will check out your work today 🧡
Omg this brought me to tears. Just beautiful and heart aching and heart filling.
Sri—thank you for taking the time to read and comment, it means so much.
This was delightful and empowering, and I loved learning that I am apparently on the shared ledge of the age of the mother (though not one to a child) and the age of the seeker. I am looking forward with a lusty anticipation to crone, which I feel a little part of me has always been.
Lusty anticipation!! Perfectly put! I was more crone at age 3 than I was at age 30. She's a state of mind. Welcome home :)